I love to write. And, I have so many blog snippets started and not finished. I haven’t published many of my blog posts. Why not?

My swirling mind chatter usually stops me with:

my blog or story is not interesting or good enough …I should have more words/ content in my blogs … I don’t have time to write … my writing should be perfect, or amazingly impactful … who wants to read my words …

Cairn, seems to be gazing. Photo by S. Walters

Basically my mind tugs and questions me on something my body and gut love to do: write.

(BTW …  my mother and some friends love to read my blogs and that’s helpful to my ego :))

How do I know my body is telling me something different than my cognitive mind about writing? When I write I feel content, energetic, curious and open hearted. Open hearted for me means my heart feels very expansive and spacious. BIG. My heart feels more energies, an upward feeling, awareness of my own energy and others. I can get lost in my writing too, so I want to practice how to create and play well with it.

I believe people have the capacity to sense energies, and it can be developed if there is not current awareness of it. I’ve participated in many experiential exercises where participants learned to sense their own energy, and those of others. Such amazing awarenesses shifts and growth for people!

I believe in the power of somatics, the connection of the body and mind. The body knows before the mind what is being felt in the conscious and unconscious mind. I am grateful that my professional journey involves learning about human development, and my personal journey has mirrored that curiosity.

Training and work as a developmental coach has changed me. I find my awareness levels continue to shift, with new awarenesses, growth edges and openings emerging. I’m grateful for the many amazing teachers in my life sharing new and ancient findings on so many life-giving topics … somatics, neuroplasticity, adult development, energy ++. And, grateful for the incredible colleagues and clients I journey with in this work. I’m seeing grateful come up a lot in my writing …. just noticing.

So, I’m going to experiment the next few months with this. I’m creating a STFX, a Safe-To-Fail Experiment. I’m going to practice blogging weekly, and not judge myself if I do, or do not. I’m going to listen to my body and gut on this. And observe and be curious with what it tells me. I’m going to share my stories, insights and thoughts even if it’s a quick brief paragraph. I am practicing letting go, again, of mind chatter that seems to not align with my body messages.

Why is this important to me? Because it’s about choice. Intentional choice. Choosing something that feels right and desired by me … for my heart, for my life, me, my purpose and my journeys. And, I’ve gotten in my own way on this many times. It’s about paying attention to what matters to me.

I want to do this writing experiment observing what to let in, and what to let out. Today I decided to write, and let some things go. I felt some nudges in my body along the way. I’m now feeling tugs to stop. A gut nudge that I ‘should be doing’ something else. I asked myself what that was about. It

Closing day hike at Bend of Ivy. Selfie by Alan and Susan.

seemed more about my habit of not letting myself spend creative (versus business writing) time, writing on things I want to share rather than any real need.

Stewarding and living at Bend of Ivy Lodge has been an unexpected gift. It’s a huge part of my learning and awakening. Alan (my beloved husband) and I see so many amazing teachers, leaders and practitioners come through here, with deep work impacting others in their body, mind, and soul. It’s impactful for us to witness.

Alan and I started a new company 3 years ago when we stepped into owning and stewarding Bend of Ivy Lodge. We named our new company Intentional Growth LLC dba Bend of Ivy Lodge. We were not looking to buy a retreat center, life just unfolded with a curious gift. I was researching a recommended coaching training program, Presence-Based Coaching, and discovered a totally ‘never would have thought of’ business and life adventure for us. Thank goodness for my life, love and business partner Alan!

Before our discerning leap, we asked ourselves what is important to us? What do we want to do with our precious lives, energies and time? What came to us, clearly in our guts and bodies, was nurture people, planet, purpose, and ourselves. We believe in conscious capitalism, and supporting the work of others. I want to share some of that in my writings.

Some of my takeaways are:

    • Listen to your gut, heart and body before your mind. Research does support as well that the body knows before the cognitive mind what’s emerging for you in the conscious and unconscious.
    • Letting go is good. Of mind chatter & need to continually learn more, experience, … a continued practice.
    • Paying attention to what matters with discernment (body tugs), impacts choice. For the better, in conscious and unconscious drivers.
    • I enjoyed writing today. More desired 🙂

Our curious goat family celebrating with us on our wedding day. July 2015. Photo by Bren Dandy Photography.

We are constantly learning, growing, emerging and shifting… Alan, me (Susan), our amazing BOI team and family, Bend of Ivy and Intentional Growth. I feel blessed. Sometimes growth is intentional, and sometimes unintentional. Both are a gift. I will write and share on both!

Be well, be curious. Blessings,

Susan